Let’s chat about your negative relationship with receiving money

I used to have negative relationship with receiving money for my hard work.

This behavior caused chaos in my business, unnecessary strife in my life and a mountain of debt.  Since this realization,  I have been actively doing the work to change my attitude toward receiving, and really take a look at my thoughts and behaviors about taking money for my goods and services.

Sue Bryce has a mantra that goes, “Left hand for leaving, right hand for receiving.”

I am an excellent “leaver” and the money always flows out freely to affirm how much I value the services of others. I over tip, make sure I pay fully and on time for everything, and support other artists with my money whenever I can.

However, in the past my lack of self worth made me a shitty receiver.

Let’s see if you can relate.

Here are some of the broken ways I used to think about receiving:

♥ My customers are going to think I’m greedy.

♥ My customers are going to balk at my prices and judge me for not being worth it.

♥ If I ask for what I want, I will be ostracized and judged.

♥ If I ask for too much I won’t get any business.

♥ In order to ask for what I think I’m worth, I have to be better at what I do.

♥ What am I really worth anyway?

Here is the problem with this kind of scared, lack-based thinking. It sets you up to be resentful of your customers, and to fail at your business.

Why? Because you are placing the responsibility of validating your self-worth on your customers, and it infuses emotion with the financial life blood of your business.

My business formula: Provide a high value product or service and get paid for it.

We confuse this simple formula by attaching all of our emotional baggage around money to it.

Here is how I made the critical mind shift.

♥ First, I figured out what my offerings were and made sure they were high value. I had a lack of clarity around what exactly I was offering to my customers, so I dealt with that first.

♥ Next, I took a courageous look at the emotions that always came up around receiving money. For me, lack of self-worth was at the core of not being able to ask for what I wanted. To relieve the anxiety, I first had to learn to recognize it when it popped up.

♥ Then I listed on paper every single talent, skill, innovation, area of expertise, and creative mastery that I have acquired by being an adult in the workplace. Wow. I had never taken the time to actually list the things that make me an authority in my field. It was eye opening, and extremely self-validating. But most importantly it made me realize from a non-emotional place how much I have actually done, and the volumes that I have to share with others.

♥ Finally, I practiced receiving. I started by teaching myself to accept compliments. I used to deflect. Now I absorb compliments with gratitude for the giver, and then say “thank you.”

Conscious receiving is an essential life skill. You must earn money to support yourself so that you can continue to deliver high value to your customers again and again.

If you are willing to look at the emotions that are tied to the way your earn and receive money, then you ready to show up and charge for what you’re worth.

If you are one of those people who thinks that making money is somehow tied to spiritual failure, my two part question for you is, “How’s that working out for you, ” and “Are you truly able to bring your best stuff to your clients this way?”